Dear World, I knew a girl name Stacey
I knew a girl name Stacey x had not seen her in years until last week before I went to CHI. She was waiting for her boyfriend to come get her. We sat and talked for hours. She told me she was in Atlanta to visit him and she was based in Burbank were she lived with him for 9 years. They were engaged, then he called it off because he said he did not feel was man enough to be a husband, and did not feel complete and had not lived to know if “They” were right, but they were still trying to figure things out. Stacey was in a low place x I felt she just wanted someone to listen, She continued to unloaded her deepest feelings x secrets on me. She was so conflicted with her relationship x had been defeated by love. She was fed up w/ the constant heart break from a person she loved x lived her life with over 10 yrs. She smiled as she said he tells me he loves me and my heart tells me he does not my mind is making me think is this really love? Its not you its me he said to her, she explained to he’s been struggling w/ being the man he wanted to be, he wanted to be better in his career, wanted more money to provide, he was upset with not being taught to be a man, so he went on a search to fill his life with what he felt he needed, things that were good and would make him happier. She told me all that sounded great and she encouraged him being a better man, because then he would be a better man for her x there future kids, but the time apart, the less frequent I love you’s, amongst other struggles were heart breaking. She was becoming depressed and was trying to not cry everyday, and breath without her heart/soul aching. Towards the end of our convo, Stacey had decided what she deserved was what God had placed in her life for 9 years, the genuine pure love that she shared with him, the love that made her better, the encouragement, the support, the times that built character, the committment, not what she had been experiencing for the last year, She was getting the courage to tell him that she knows what she deserves and her worth. And if its important, and they are friends, and they love each other unconditionally, then no distance will hinder them from their relationship and it can work and she will stand by his side through his journey but she just needed to be honored and a committment, but if its not important she would be a faint memory. On 7/18, I saw Stacey’s boyfriend he look distraught, his eyes were red, he looked like his soul was sucked away from him. I was thinking did she do it! Unknowlingly my lips spoke the words, You good? Looks like you had a rough night. He replied, ” You know Stacey, right?”, I said yeah, she was here last week, you remember I met you? He replied, ” Stacey is dead. I went to tell her I was tripping, and that That I loved her. I’m not entirely full with or with out her but, I know I’m less empty with her.” Shocked with what I heard, I asked what happen, he said he went to were she was she was staying x found Stacey breathless, with no heartbeat.. They said she died in her sleep.
All I can think did Stacey die heart broken? Was she at peace?
I use to know girl a named Stacey and eventhough it was years since I saw her and I did not know who she was as an adult person, I did know from our hour + convo that she loved unconditionally, at times more than she loved herself.
We tend to say if things are meant to be they will happen in due time, but most of the time, time is already due!
-Clearly Kilbs
